Mumbling Madly

My dear Josh took on The Stage this last Saturday. For those of you who know Josh, you know that he entertains his friends and family but never professionally. Josh willingly sits in the audience during every single one of my productions, but has never expressed interest beyond the technical side of theater. (Josh has assisted me multiple times in production, i.e.: shooting slides, taking publicity photos, etc.). Leave it to our good friend, Darren, to talk Josh into a small role in An Evening Of Percussive Dance. This show was really cool. It outlined each phase of percussive dance, starting with folk music, moving to irish step dancing, on to the musical theater genre, and than wrapping it up with contemporary tap and clogging numbers. (This included a cringe-inducing clogging rendition of C&C Music Factory’s “Everybody Dance Now.”) In between each genre was movie and video clips exemplifying each era. The house was almost sold-out, and the tap numbers left everyone on the edge of their seats.
Josh played The Professor in an excerpt from “Singin’ in the Rain.” He got many laughs in what was one of the only speaking roles. Rehearsal for him was minimal; His costume consisted of an old suit and these nerdy, googly, glasses that were so crazy he couldn’t even see out of them–this turned out to be an advantage when he realized he couldn’t see the audience. I, of course, was jumping all over my seat during the scene, thrilled and trying to hold down my energy. It was a rare switch: Me sweating it out in the audience and Josh up on stage.
I can’t explain how awesome it was to see Josh try something completely new (and yet so familiar). After the show I insisted on taking pictures of him by the stage–even though he had naively removed his costume. (Huge faux-paux, one is always suppose to come out in costume and be showered with flowers and photos). However, here are a few pics I shot of him in all his Professor glory:

Check out the creepiness of his eyes in those glasses!

Angela, still in her Ginger Rogers’ outfit, and her tap-dancing husband, Darren:

While browsing Overstock.com I found the following interesting and absurd products:

Wassily Kandinsky Farbstudie Quadrate, 1913 Framed Print

Betty Crocker 48-piece SuperSeal Food Saver Set (all for only $32.99! And you don’t have to deal with a tupperware lady).

Rejuvenique Facial Toning System. (This is extremely disturbing to me).

Gel Pen 10-piece Set

This is what I found when I typed “sex” into their search engine:

Jumbo-size Black Leather Fanny Pack. Terrifying because it’s ‘jumbo.’

What’s your favorite meal to cook at home?
That’s assuming you cook at all…or that your favorite meal involves no cooking but opening a box or a bag.
I find that in this house, I have been cooking less. This is largely due to the crappiness of the kitchen. I think counter space really determines the quality and frequency of my cooking. Oh, and of course, time, energy, and ingredients. Like many folks, I go through various cooking phases: pizza, calzones, casseroles, peanut sauce, phad thai, bread baking (which I still manage to do twice a month). I have a crock pot and all the ambition in the world and yet it remains untouched. There was a brief period where I thought a fondue pot might be cool, but realized it would be one more thing lying around.
Josh is a willing recipient of anything that I come up with…but after multiple tries he usually tires of one (if not perfected) dish. If it were up to Josh we would probably eat typical German fare every night: Meat and potatoes. (I, myself, was raised on a solid pasta diet). The two of us do not eat at the table, we eat while watching the Simpsons. Actually, we don’t usually eat together. All of the above are bad, we know this. When we eat at the table, we usually end up reading magazines instead of talking. I suppose there’s little to no ceremony about dinner for us. This is why we love going out to eat, because than we’re completely relaxed, someone is serving us, the menu is good, and it’s like a date.
Did you go out to eat a lot as a kid? Neither of us did…and when we did it was to very memorable (at the time) but unimpressive places….like The Holland or Wendy’s. No offense to my Mom’s cooking, but we LOVED going out to eat. Therefore, if Josh and I had the choice to be true urbanites and go out to eat all the time, I think we would.

That’s right, tasteless breakfast cereal has gone whole grain! I am a cereal-aholic, a carb-counter’s nightmare, and while I generally don’t give a crap I’m pretty impressed with the changes. Breakfast cereal, especially the kind aimed at kids, has gotten a bad rap for aiding our current obesity epidemic. Similar to McDonalds trying to make ammends by throwing free step-o-meter, General Mills is now making ALL their cereals out of whole grain. Granted, the second ingredient is sugar, and the third ingredient is corn syrup so I don’t really know how much of an impact this will make.
Josh and I tried it out last night when we splurged and bought Chocolate Lucky Charms. (I know, some of you are gagging right now). We ate them for dessert while watching Garden State on DVD. They tasted different…slightly. The milk still turned brown and we needed a good tooth brushing afterwards. Overall, I could taste the effort. Way to go, General Mills!

This alone is a great reason for not moving to Denver. Not only do they have notoriously gun-happy cops but now they’ll arrest you if your bumpersticker is not to their liking. Check out: “Sticker stuck in cop’s craw”

After spending last Sunday snowboarding at Vail I experienced some of the highest levels of snowboard prejudice ever. Apparently, the introduction of snowboarding as reputable in the Olympics, X-Games, and other international competitions has not hindered the total disgust most skiers have for the sport. The Skiers vs. Snowboarders battle has been raging ever since one can remember. Even when I first began five years ago, as a non-threatening boarder on the bunny trail, I was deemed as a nuisance. There is a definite stigma running around that snowboarders are nothing but young, punk, stoner kids and that skiers are the wealthy monarchs of the snow. OK, so there is some truth behind that. At local joints, the snowboarders are undoubtedly the bartenders, servers, and baristas while the skiers are enjoying their second home in the mountains.
But, snowboarders tend to be younger, fitter, and have better fashion sense than skiers. (i.e.: You’ll never see a snowboarder wearing a neon jumpsuit with a belt). Personally I’ve always enjoyed the puffy, androgynous look I gain in my fat snow clothing. Typically, it is assumed that I’m a boy, and I hear: “Watch out for THAT guy.” or “Sir, oh sir!” many times while riding. Granted there is a large crop of fresh snowboard bunnies climbing the ranks to join the high level of competition that until recently our men solidly dominated. Young girls are ambitiously diving into the difficult world of boarding–despite lack of upper body strength which is compromised when you ditch the idea of goofy ski poles.
There were many mountains that up until recently banned snowboarding. This immediately attaches a certain rebel spirit to those who participate in such a condemned snow sport. Triumphantly, many resorts are realizing how popular snowboarding has become and retracted their idiocy.
Even so, Josh and I realized yesterday that we were the minority on the hill. Packs of skiers mowed us over on the catwalks, small children were learning how to ski (gasp!) instead of snowboard, and many scoffs and scowls were seen and heard. It became annoying and old really fast. This sort of reaction has prompted many a rebellious slogan or phrase and merely perpetuates a snowboarder’s rage and bias. (I recall a friend of mine once slapped a sticker that read: “Skiing is for Fat Kids” on her board. A ticket taker refused to scan her ticket and forced her to wait in another line).
OK, so maybe the rowdy snowboard reputation is deserved. Despite this, Josh actually heard a skier yell, “Hey, there’s plenty of room here, buddy” for no good reason. And many of us are extremely polite to skiers with zero reaction.

Hanging out with Jodi at Pazzo’s Pizza.

Hangin in the parking lot; We got to ride for FREE thanks to Jodi. Woohoo!

Full body shot of us in all our gear. Even though the parking lot looks void of snow, it was still a pretty fantastic day, nonetheless. It was our first day of the season so, currently, we both feel like we’ve been hit by cars.

Memorable Colorado Moments:
1) Getting my car keyed on all four sides by the manager of Tyme Tattoo.
2) Being deathly ill while Ryan was visiting us in Summit County, playing Uno, and all of a sudden we see a cat with enormous whiskers strolling by. Ryan called her over, and lo and behold: Hobbes The Legendary Cat.
3) Josh parked his truck in a loading zone in front of the Engineering building. A disgruntled engineering grad student let out the air in his tires, destroyed the rims, than tried to drive away. He was caught by the cops, given a ticket for Malicious Mischief, and than tried to make it right by getting down and dirty and changing the tires with his own truck tires. Needless to say, we did not drop the charges.
4) “The Choads” (as we nicknamed them), moving into the place behind ours. Loud Snoop Dog at 12am sparked a string of calls to the police, resulting in a sting operation. Finally, Mr. Choad was arrested the next morning for multiple counts of noise violation, resisting arrest, and harassment. Mr. and Mrs. Choad were evicted but Josh and I were forever scarred and refuse to share walls with anyone.
5) The entire town of Ft. Collins was haulted when four feet of snow hit the community, making it illigal to drive unless you were a medical vehicle. This was when Josh and I learned that such a thing as “Cabin Fever” exists.
6) Getting married outside, in front of a historical home, with all our friends and family present.
7) Courtney having a baby two months early and getting to see him in the ICU before she even got to.
8) In the first Ft. Collins house we lived in our neighbors consisted of a gay man with cancer on our right and a former convict with an ankle bracelet on the left.
9) Gong camping for the first time in Rabbit Valley, Utah.
10) Gaining the following job experience: Barista, Waitress, Old-Fashion Underwear Model, Mentor for Larimer County’s Human Resources, Modern Dance Teacher, Pre-Ballet Teacher, Drama Teacher, Dance Retail Manager, Cartoonist for the local liberal rag, Grant Writer, Jewelry Maker, and Professional Choreographer.

Things I’ll miss about Colorado:
1) The weather. It’s sunny here. I’ve never lived in a place with so many damn days of sun in a row. Granted it is really cold in the winter (yay, snow!) and really hot in the summer (Boo!). But the weather here is unmatched.
2) Snowboarding in some of the best snow, conditions, etc. at Keystone, Copper, Breckinridge, Arapahoe Basin, etc. Some of you may know that I taught myself how to snowboard at the ripe old age of 23. This is virtually unheard of in snowboarding circles. People usually start off with skis…not me. I dove in, gave myself several concussions, and learned after a year of living in the mountains and snowboarding every day. After many weeks of riding alone, I finally reached a speed where I was able to join my friends and comrades. (Sadly, this was when we left the mountains).
3) The No-Frills, laid back, “whatever” mentality. People here put on very few airs. You won’t find pretention, you won’t find huge, over-blown, egos, you won’t find larger than life personalities. Everyone smokes weed. Everyone takes one day at a time. It’s all very low key. However, there are very few gay people, black people, or homeless people. (Hence, I have very few friends in this town).
4) Starting work as late in the morning as 11am or as early as 9:45am.
5) Inexpensive lattes.
6) Snow…sometimes multiple feet.
7) Courtney
Things I won’t miss:
1) Fighting for the right to stand up on stage, produce my own work, perform my own choreography, and be heard by the media and the audience.
2) Living in a flaming red state.
3) Working four different part-time jobs to earn $1,570 a month.
4) Being entirely land-locked.
5) The high altitude; Gone will be the days of flat cakes, confused bread, and recipe adjustments.
6) Forest Fires.
7) Bush/Cheney, yellow ribbon, and Sportsmen for Bush stickers on every other car.
Stay tuned for “Best Colorado Moments!”