Wed 3 Aug 2005
I had no idea how mutilated I might feel. In this photo you can see the incision snake all the way into the top of my ear canal:
All bandaged up in back, despite the absence of multiple stitches–ouch!
I was exhausted after this appointment. I didn’t learn a whole lot of new info other than my ear had been continually trying to heal my defunct eardrum resulting in calcium deposits and thick scar tissue plus a little skin growth. I still can’t hear very well, it’s really surprising. I fully expected for the doc to uncork my bandaged ear and viola! Perfect Ear. This was not the case. Yes, the ear drum looks great, but it’s still a battle zone. There’s still dried blood everywhere and my drum is still learning how to function. I have been up to my ears (ha ha) in antibiotic ointment–the coldest, tickliest, ear drops twice a day. I’ve found comfort in wearing a single cotton ball. It’s as if my ear is afraid to go out in public after 10 days of wrapped seclusion.
Yesterday I looked in the mirror and my right ear looked ghastly compared to my left ear. Suddenly I worried that when they removed cartilage from behind my ear they actually sewed me up wrong and made my right ear stick out more than my left. I am uneven! I expressed my panic to Josh and he reminded me that my ear was swollen.
I was instructed not to get my ear close to water–not even a drop! “Put a Dixie cup over your ear and have Josh help you,” is what the good doctor instructed. This was a miserable experience. Josh tried to turn our bathtub into some sort of salon, having me hang my head back like I was having my hair professionally washed. It was awkward and uncomfortable but I have to hand it to Josh, without him I would still have greasy hair.
August 4th, 2005 at 12:46 pm
I had jaw surgery when I was 17; it was growing a little crooked & they tried to straighten it out. I gained a ton of weight in college, then lost it all two years ago and it turns out that one side of my jaw grew differently, so that side of my face it skinnier than the normal side. Sometimes I wish I was still fat & symetrical, but it’s a fleeting feeling. The point is, after all the ear bullshit you’ve been through, I’d think being trouble free and able to hear would trump having a slightly lumpy ear.