Oh My God.
A few of the highlights from the first week of Kindergarten:
1) During a puppet show where I played Mrs. Bear, a certain child whispered into the puppet’s ear: “I hate you Mrs. Bear! I’m going to take permanent marker and write all over your fur!
2) The big scandal of the week: One of my students and a fellow accomplice peed in the bamboo garden during recess. Their defense? “We were HIDING, why would we ask a teacher to go to the bathroom inside when we were HIDING?!”
3) I had to pull, drag, and pry a kid apart from the group because he wouldn’t stop picking another boy’s nose. “Look, I’m sure Brandon can pick his own nose,” I rationalized.
4) This poor little girl’s father forgot to put her lunch in her backpack. When she realized she didn’t have a lunch she cried for an hour…and not just a little boo hoo but a full-bodied, nose dripping, bawling that lasted despite our attempts to comfort her. When you’re four, not having a lunch is a very big deal. Even though we provided her with options she refused to eat. I even performed (yet another) puppet show involving Mr. Apple and Mrs. Granola Bar which enthralled the kids around her but did not console my little absent lunch friend.
5) I had a very brief but serious conversation with a five-year-old girl about how her father is back in the hospital so he can fight cancer. “He’s very, very strong,” She told me.
6) I have the biggest crybaby I’ve ever met in my class. She starts with a whimper and escalates to a full on screaming, screeching, tantrum in less than 20 seconds. What does she cry about? The story wasn’t long enough, the lights turned off in the classroom bother her, a single solitary melting bead fell out of its tray, another girl wants to play with her but she’s tired of playing and wants to be alone.
7) I found so much joy in helping one of my secret favorite kids sound out words and learn how to spell out the titles of his drawings. It’s tough though; like who the hell thought it was a good idea to spell “castle” with two silent letters instead of simply spelling it “casl”?
8) Once a loner always a loner? This is something I can’t figure it out. We’re supposed to help these kids foster new friendships and help improve their social skills. Some of these little kids really have no interest in playing with a group, or maybe they’re just consumed with fear or invested in their own private play. A lot of times their games and stories revolve around one isolated character (a mad scientist, a doctor, etc) that they play and no one else is invited.
9) Despite repeated handwashing I am still suffering from a wicked cold. Shit. I thought I had built up my immunity over the past couple of years teaching this sticky, snotty, gooey age group. Now I’m not so sure. Unlike my past teaching gigs however, I actually have sick time. However I can tell it is discouraged, and even my recent ear appointments have thrown a kink in the tightly wound network of this school.
10) I was sitting on the floor with two kids leaning on me listening to the other teacher read a picture book aloud and I thought: Wow, look at me. I have a great job.