Today I experienced my first “Visit Day.” This school has one of the most in-depth, detailed, and meticulous application processes I’ve ever been privy too. They are unusual for the great lengths they take to choose their students. Typically, private schools require testing scores, a parent/child interview, and for some, an IQ test (which may determine acceptability for some private schools but not for all). The applicant pool boils down to this: one in six children will be accepted. If you want your child to be considered you must go on a tour of the school, fill out a multi-page questionnaire, turn in any and all test scores, submit a recommendation from another teacher, daycare provider, etc, sit down with the admission director for a parent interview, and lastly, subject your child to a Visit Day. The experience is structured, the child is watched by one teacher while they explore the classroom and the parents are not allowed to attend with their kid. The kid does an activity, then moves on to a Movement class, and then they have Story Time in the library. We track all their moves on a clipboard using a rating system. The child is given a 1 for great, 2 for Ok, and 3 for Not so good…and here’s the catch: The parents are being rated too. Even though we only see them at drop off and pick up time, their reaction to Visit Day is also documented.
It’s an amazing process and it allows the admission office to really tailor make this school to whatever they want or need. Let’s say one year they recognize the need for more science-minded, four-year-old, girls…well, they can look at the applicants specifically for science-y females and bring em’ in that year. And let’s be clear here, every year it changes, sometimes there are five spaces for three-year-old boys but only one space for a three-year-old girl…the following year it could be entirely different, there could be no positions for three-year-olds but they need five four-year-old boys instead. There are many families that re-apply over and over again, going through the same process every year and sometimes they get in but often they do not. The stress is high for these families, and most of these kids are great…but to truly be considered first both the child and the parents need to be rated as a 1. We had a lot of 2’s in my classroom with a few 1’s and a couple of 3’s. The 3’s are not necessarily the criers, but the children that are lost, unable to cope with other kids, or can’t follow directions. It’s pretty fascinating to watch a room filled with sixteen kids and twelve adults all trying to navigate their way through this process. Probably, one of the most interesting cases was the mother that set her daughter up for failure: She never revealed to her kid that she would be leaving her for Visit Day. The girl was shocked when her mother left, and then enraged. With an animal yell we had to carry her outside the classroom while she wept mercifully. The child never fully recovered, and was scored lower then perhaps was fair, considering she was suffering from separation anxiety.
Most of the kids were a little nervous, this being the first time they’ve been separated from their parents and put into a rather overwhelming situation. A few had several permanent tears right under their bottom eyelids that glistened during the entire hour and a half. The moment the tears dried, they were replenished by a sudden reminder of the child’s separation from Mom. One little boy cried silently the entire time, only stopping for brief intervals with lot’s of one on one attention by his observer. For this boy we simply wrote down: Too young, try again next year, was unable to fully evaluate. Which brings up a few interesting points, I used to believe that three was just too little for school. But now I realize that it really depends on the kid…sure, the chances of finding a stable, independent, three-year-old is less typical, but they are out there and some are ready and capable for something like a full day pre-kindergarten. Most of my original thoughts on education, age, and behavior have been drastically altered due to this resident teaching experience. It becomes hard to lump ALL three-year-olds as ‘young’ when you have one who is still in pull-ups and another who is reading and writing.