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This post has been a long time coming. I kept seeing hints of this trend coming back, from random celebrity sightings to that Levis add with the girl plowing through NY traffic to stare face to face with that dude, I had a horrible feeling that fashion was about to recommit a terrible crime from the 80’s. I can handle the other come-backs: leg warmers, fine, enormous earings, OK, I was even cool with the brief reappearance of neon. I REALLY believed that society as a whole would reject this resurfaced trend. I find that it is with great sadness that skinny jeans have found their way back into mainstream fashion. I AM NOT OK WITH THIS. Has no one been paying attention? Did we learn nothing from the What Not To Wear girls? Tapered jeans look AWFUL on majority of women–and men for that matter. Lately I’ve seen the dumpiest, shortest, hipster chicks walking around Seattle with their skinny jeans paired with FLATS…dear GOD, flats? No, no, no, if one wants to attempt to pull this trend off, you need to suck it up and wear the goddam heels so your legs look somewhat alongated and not like two short stumps. But no one wears heels in Seattle, we’re way too practical for that.
The last time I wore straight legged pants was in middle school–and this was also when peg-rolling was fashionable. I had a nice acid wash pair with a high waist and a little stretch. My feet had ballooned up to a size 10 and my short frame had yet to catch up with my gigantic appendages. I looked like Olive Oil…I looked like a stick with two marshmellows attached to the end. Skinny jeans do nothing for the big footed girl, we like to be able to hide our paws with a healthy hem. And, I’m sorry, but skinny jeans don’t do anything for anyone unless you are, well, SKINNY. This is why super models can pull this look off the same way they can pull off leather chaps, enormous belts, and fur. The rest of us need to pick and choose our trends carefully, based on what looks good for our body type. OK, so you MIGHT get me in a pair of straight legged jeans, but I draw the line at tapered.