January is historically been a difficult month for me. Starting from the huge holiday let down to the horrifically bad weather I have fallen into a bit of a malaise. Therefore I’m posting a big conglomerate of thoughts and ideas:

1) Last night I freaked out: Our neighbor had parked squarely in our alleyway, preventing me access to my parking pad. Call me an over-reacting nut, but there are some things I find unacceptable. I can handle the barking Chihuahuas and the guy who fires up his diesel truck for a half hour in the morning but I can’t be down with someone blocking access to my driveway. Josh felt that I behaved a bit like a monster last night. It didn’t help that I stormed over to my neighbor’s house and demanded to know if the Saab in the alleyway was there’s and could they not park in the alleyway. Of course the man of the house (owner of the Saab) was at work and the lady of the house was a scared, disheveled woman of Russian descent who seemed confused by my request. Her son, a likable kid we see skate boarding down the street occasionally was amicable but unhelpful. Josh tried to tell me I was over-reacting and of course I went and did the exact opposite and over-reacting some more by shouting in the living room, “What’s wrong with people? Why do we live so far away from civilization? After a long and lame day at work and all I want to do is get home and I can’t even park in my goddam driveway?” I sounded just like my Dad used to and even shouted, “I’m not yelling!” Before huffing into my office for some alone time.

2) The above freak out reflects my rather manic attitude lately. Either I’m consumed by an underwhelming malaise that puts me in a sloth-like mood or I’m all fired up and pissed at something. My inner Italian hotheadedness comes out in fits and bursts and Josh has to duck and cover to avoid being drenched with verbal piss and vinegar. It’s at times like this where I catch up with myself and realize, “I’m almost 30, why am I behaving as if I’m 13 all over again?” And then I start the brief and mindless spiral of, “oh-no, I’m getting so old, life is passing me by.” Both Josh and I have weird discussions where we debate when one becomes truly ‘middle aged.’ (I say it begins at 40, Josh believes it starts at 35).

3) Our cat did not survive the week long absence of her owners very well. When we first got her five years ago her previous owners assured us that they went on 14 day rafting trips and left her alone with no problems. When we returned from a week long holiday filled with weddings, funerals, and holiday treats we found our cat howling with protest. She had fretfully vomited on our afghan (which Josh had carefully laid out to protect our new leather chair), and proceeded to barf two more times in the twelve hours after our return home. Now Katie had written us a very nice note documenting her visits, so we know Hobbes was not without company. However, Hobbes was inconsolable for many days after our return and one would find her pitifully (and loudly) meowing in the isolation of the empty hallway or alone upstairs. This puts a dent in any future plans to Europe or even our upcoming trip to Whistler. Hobbes went from being a laid back middle aged cat to an over-sensitive, dependent, old fogey at the ripe old age of ten, (which in cat years puts her at 55, so what’s her problem?)

4) Several aimless months and no real job opportunities in sight. I console myself with the fact that schools are starting to put stuff out for the summer and the following school year. I find myself stifled in my current work space, sneaking peeks on the internet, and shuffling through papers and data entry while listening to endless Dave Mathews on someone’s ipod. (Thank God somebody removed John Mayer from the mix, because I thought I was going insane for a while there). The only reprieve I have is teaching the occasional class or hanging out with the occasional kid. (Sorry folks, I know many of you looked at my blog only for the teaching stories).

And now, to spare the many of you out there who are suffering from your own weather-induced malaise, I digress…