A few weeks ago my dear friend Kimberly wrote a really wonderful blog post regarding craigslist postings for free artists-for-hire. Many local companies looking for artists on craigslist more often then not request their services for free. Kimberly wrote: “Would you offer a neurosurgeon the “opportunity” to add your name to his resume as payment for removing that pesky tumor? (Maybe you could offer him “a few bucks” for “materials”. What a deal!)” I loved this post. I felt like she should publish this piece and get paid for its wisdom: “Graphic artists, illustrators, painters, etc., are skilled tradesmen. As such, to consider them as, or deal with them as, anything less than professionals fully deserving of your respect is both insulting and a bad reflection on you as a sane, reasonable person. In short, it makes you look like a twit.”

I recently thought about her post when receiving a letter back from The Largest Children’s Theatre in Seattle. This theater is world famous for its incredible production values, stellar children’s theater education, and award winning performances. So, it’s the shit, and I realize that everyone and their Mom wants to work there. They had a listing for assistant teaching positions for their summer program. The pay would be a measly ten dollars an hour, and the job description pretty much stated that you wouldn’t really be teaching but sitting with students at lunch time, handing out snacks, and basically corralling the children. However, I figured it might be worth it to be underpaid in order to get my teaching foot in the door.

I put together a nice packet, detailing my ten plus years teaching theater and six years of teaching dance. I included pics of me with small children and big children–expressing the range of ages I’ve taught. Perhaps they would be so impressed with my experience they would consider taking me under their children’s theater wing. A month later I received an email informing me that I did not qualify to be an assistant teacher. However, I had “quite a lot of experience” and would I be interested in being an intern? I quickly scanned the email for the most important part: pay. Really, the teaching internship was written in a very titillating manner–design curriculum! Explore concepts! Set up directing projects!–and yet I skimmed this to read the inevitable: 40 hours a week would be rewarded with a weekly stipend of $120-140. Yes, this breaks down to $3.20 an hour at the most.

I was so close to emailing a sarcastic response, something along the lines of, “I’m so GLAD my ten years of experience qualifies me for a below minimum wage stipend. It EXCITES me to think I could spend forty hours a week making the same wage as an illegal alien picking fruit. Of course, I understand that 20% of your teaching interns go on to work within your non-profit company. Perhaps this glimmer of hope justifies forgoing my mortgage payment for the summer.”

OK…I’m a poor sport.