I could not sit through Pans Labyrinth. I tried. I closed my eyes during the bashing with the bottle and thought, “OK, they established that this is a very bad man, it can’t get any worse.” I had really thought that this movie, being billed as a ‘fairy-tale for adults’ was talking about fantasy violence, similar to the Lord of the Rings. I can handle that kind of violence. I can not handle violence against innocent people, animals, and especially children. I dislike watching children not being listened to, and the protagonist was certainly not ‘listened to.’ Remember when the writers on Sesame St. decided to reveal Snuffalufagus to the rest of the muppets because they were concerned about Big Bird not being believed? They wanted children to know that they would be heard? I stand by this logic and it made me cringe to watch this poor kid try and explain: “No! I need to save the mandrake root baby,’ ‘my step-dad is an asshole he’s going to kill us all,’ and ‘I trusted you all to keep me safe’…and then not be heard and perish in the end.

I wanted to see more creatures, more fairies, more of the guy-with-eyes-on-his-palms, and more puking toads. I wanted to experience more of the heartaches, like realizing her beautiful party dress has fallen in the mud. I wanted to see more success in the fawn’s challenges and a sense of growth, hope, and possibility.  THIS is what I expected out of the movie, an extraordinary fantasy world balanced with a terrible reality. Instead this movie failed me the way reality failed Ofelia. It made me feel nauseous. I had to leave the room. I should have trusted my brother who (once again he called it) said, “This is not a Mara movie.”

Similar to having a low tolerance with movies that show abuse against women I am even less tolerant of movies that depict violence against children. I am surprised this movie, with its egregious child abuse and child murder was not rated more strongly and written up more harshly. A fairy-tale for adults? How so? I hang out with small children every day who are very in tune with their favorite fairy tales and the standard run-down goes like this: protagonist is in trouble, protagonist faces enemy, protagonist prevails (and maybe finds true love and happiness in the end). Little Match Book Girl? I have yet to have a single kid mentioned this tale as a favorite–she dies of cold after all what’s so great about that? What about the Tin Soldier who melts in the fire into the shape of a heart? Yeah, he never comes up in conversation. Three-year-olds are pretty damn happy with the idea of happily ever after. That’s the purpose of fairy tales. Sure, when they’re older you can wander down the weirder paths of Alice in Wonderland, sequels with Dorothy (TickTock of Oz anyone?) and even the original text of Peter Pan is a little spicy (what with Tinkerbell being kind of a bitch). I don’t think you can combine horrible images of war with CGI created monsters and call it a ‘fairy-tale.’ (Adult Fantasy is a better term for this movie, however, I realize that is another name for porn).

Maybe, as an adult I’m a more in line with my young students: I like happy endings. You don’t have to try so hard to ‘get me.’ Just show a child (or God forbid a BABY) in trouble and you pretty much have me trembling. I realized that I’m probably different then most adults, or at least I am according to the director who said: “Now we, as adults, in order to be shocked by the horror like a kid and experience the wonderful like a kid, I have to push your buttons and they’re hidden under layers and layers of social fat. I have to push really hard like deep tissue massage….” For continued revelation check out this interview.