I will not be celebrating Halloween this year. Oh, sure, there’s a party next Saturday with the expectation to dress up. And, yeah, all these random children today at the park were wearing their costumes ‘out.’ But I’m sort of glad to just let Halloween slip by.

First of all, the current show I’m in requires as many costume changes as possible. This means that during any spare moment we are encouraged to walk upstage to the big costume rack and change outfits. I probably change clothes at least five times in the span of one hour. You can also change either in front of the rack (in plain view of the audience) or behind the rack (in plain view of cast mates but not audience). I seem to be doing the latter. I’m not sure where this modesty came from…age? Marriage? Not that I’ve ever busted out any nude scenes in the past but I was known to take off my shirt on stage a few times, regularly showed up for a curtain call wearing men’s tighty whitey’s and my best lace bra, spent multiple cast parties skinny dipping in Kimberly’s basement pool, and generally had no problem showing off my bod. Indeed, there are several in the cast who have no problem stripping down and upstaging the performance art with their blatant nudity. I admire this but don’t participate. Admittedly, before leaving for the theater I still make sure my underwear matches and my armpits are shaved just in case I feel bold and want to be a bit of an exhibitionist that night. But I no longer feel the thrill I once did, maybe because I’m no longer trolling for a mate or perhaps because I don’t feel like sucking it in, but for whatever reason: I’m skipping the public nudity.

Anyway, I’ve always maintained that actors don’t get much out of Halloween. We already dress up a lot in our professions, put on make-up, pretend to be people we aren’t. There are people right now who are thrilled because they’re going to be a Mexican Wrestler (or Strong Bad) for Halloween and I’ve been wearing that damn mask every weekend for three weeks now. (Besides, I’m still bummed that my one great idea for a costume last year was wasted on a bunch of drunk Boeing employees). And then there’s the blowing a whole bunch of money on candy thing, and the doorbell ringing all night, and I guess I’m just a big Halloween scrooge this year. People were really trying to get me to come to this haunted house thing at the theater and I made the excuse that I couldn’t come because I would get scared. (You know that wasn’t an excuse; I really would get scared). Why just now on the Discovery Channel they were having this whole thing on exorcisms and the second the scary music started up I had to switch the channel, (and then manically flip back every few seconds until the scary demon was gone and it was daylight again).

I also don’t feel like being clever. When you’re a kid the costumes are really straightforward: princess, fairy princess, little red riding hood, etc. When you’re a teenager they become a little more vague: punk rocker, rock star, older teenager. When you’re an adult you’re expected to be really clever, like…little dead riding hood…or something. I reached my peek at 20 when I went to a party as a Freudian slip wearing nothing but, you guessed it, a slip. I froze my ass off but I looked great (of course I included a lot of glitter into the costume). Halloween has only gone down hill since then. I’ve made some attempts in the past; buying a cool red wig and black wings and tried to piece together a costume. Josh usually upstaged me, typically by donning some sort of horrible wig and skin tight pants. This is fine…as I stated in the last paragraph I don’t get much out of dressing up.

And continuing on that stream of thought: just dressing up is sometimes hard. I have a pedestal sink, which means no counter space. No place to put mounds of bobby pins, tubes of sparkles, make-up of any kind. It is hideous to try and get everything together into some sort of semblance of glamor. I had to go to a wedding reception last night and I tried forever to come up with something that looked attractive. I decided that the only thing that would have perfected my outfit was a pair of long boots….but I don’t own any boots. Not really…I mean I have out-of-style boots from 1997 and 2002 but nothing akin to what the ladies are wearing NOW. So, the whole time I was trying to make something out of my dress I bemoaned the fact that if I JUST HAD BOOTS I could have really pulled this outfit off. Because I teach dance every day I find myself wearing yoga pants and tee shirts all the time…gone are the days of slacks and form fitting button up shirts (too difficult to demonstrate “ballet arms” when your circulation is being cut off at the arm pits). This is usually pretty great–especially on days when I look and feel like crap. But it’s certainly made it harder to find and buy clothes for dressing up (why bother when I just have to change into cotton lycra every day?)

At any rate: I’m taking this Halloween off. And while everyone doles out candy to kids in the rain I’m going to see the fantastic, awesome, Henry Rollins at the Moore Theatre.