Because we don’t have any serious tragedy, because we all relatively get along and we enjoy good food, because we like each other’s company and have a lot in common, my outlook on Christmas continues to be merry. The following is a look at the prerequisites to having a happy holiday (broken down into parts):

GIFTS
I was reading Dear Abby, or some equivalent, and it was discussing the whole concept of gift free Christmases. Josh had mentioned this previously in the week, a meandering thought that was received by me with a big fat ‘no.’ There is something really lovely about buying presents and then giving them away. How often do we really do this in real life? I know when someone buys me a cup of coffee it is always a thrill. Or when I find something really appropriate and funny (this happens when I’m shopping for my sister all the time) like a pair of metallic stretch pants that someone (my sister) has been wanting and waiting for but would never buy themselves. Isn’t that the neat part about it? Seeing what people buy with you in mind, coming up with what they think you’ll like and use? I would never have a calender in my kitchen if it weren’t for my family. I would also be short on socks and pajamas. These are things I like but don’t usually buy for myself. The same goes for the lovely Lush products my sister-in-law purchased as a belated birthday gift (and gave me 2 days before Christmas, score!).

Both my husband and my sister underestimated my size this year…each of them purchased tops for me in size small in the hope that somehow I might have shrunk. I certainly know what that’s like, as I too have tried to trick myself into being a size smaller. It is the nature of things to be cuter when they’re smaller. T-shirts and hoodies sell out in bigger sizes, leaving the funky patterns and neat prints plentiful in size small. While I’m flattered that they think I might even be a small, I know they mentally shrunk me down while Christmas shopping.

I read an article in the NY Times Magazine about how children are encouraged to hand make their cards and gifts. This saves the parents money (no need for the kid to pick out a Hallmark card when he can make his own) and encourages creativity and ingenuity. We lose this when we get older, the handmade aspect, as we grow busier and less patient. Suddenly, we find ourselves angrily walking around a suburban mall looking for yet another piece of plastic to wrap. Is it time we need and if so, is it worth it? I know I had this fantasy of making canvas bags this year but traded in the time for a stroll around the mall. I like the decorations and the hubbub of the holidays but I can only handle a few hours before I throw in the towel and find half of my gifts online. And sure, it’s hard to know exactly how much you should spend, if they’ll really like it, but most of the time it’s the thought that counts.

I also understand the exhaustion of gift giving. While Christmas Morning part one at my house is laid back and full of grown ups sipping coffee and unwrapping The Lord of the Ring trilogy, Christmas Morning part two at Josh’s sister’s house involves six children. The sheer madness, selfishness, irritability, coked up on sugar craziness is absolutely jarring in comparison. I hand a present to one niece, she opens it, finds a book (I know: boring), and asks me, “What else?” At the end of the event they’re complaining how bored they are, even while sitting in the middle of a mound of toys. I know that this is not fair; I’m sure I threw diva fits about fantastic gifts I never received (like the year my brother totally scored with a new bike AND a train set and I felt my presents weren’t comparable).

I realized that a big part of Christmas when you’re small IS the gifts…and later when you move away and start your adult life it becomes about being with family. The nostalgia of watching old Christmas tapes from 1988 when you had braces and funny hair but you were still you. The eager hopping around as you wait for your Mom to open this really super cool present you picked out for her. It’s a time to give back, give a nod, a heads up to the people in your life: thanks for still being around, man…here’s a sweater.

puppet.jpg

(or an octopus puppet)