After getting up 2-5 times during the night, I get up at 5am and see Josh off to work…then I read the somewhat tedious “Atonement” for about 30 minutes before nodding off. Think about all the things I’m going to do with my nice long day: shower, vacuum, make stuff (turns out this is all idealizing). Wake myself up snoring anytime between 8 and 10am. Eat bran cereal for breakfast. Teach a dance class or two….maybe. (Depends on the day). If there is no dance class then I try to take a walk around the block but only make it halfway: Gravity has gone into full effect and Baby Schlag is resting soundly on my bladder. Limp home. Fold laundry and empty dishwasher…feel exhausted by so much activity. Lie down and sleep for 1-3 hours. 4:00 is reserved for TV time: Oprah mixed with Judge Judy. Cook dinner at 5, regardless of energy level. Dinner has included soups, meatballs, homemade pizza, comfort food with real ingredients and high in protein. As custom, I eat very very quickly and perhaps a bit more then usual. Find that I can’t move out of the horizontal position on the couch. Watch Food Network, a comedy from Netflix, or something easy and entertaining with the husband. Go to bed and start all over…

An alternative to the day would include a phone call from Sharon (due three days after me) or maybe a visit from new friend, Suzanne, down the street. She arrives on my porch with her one month old daughter wrapped up and hanging off her body in an ergo carrier. I’m envious that her baby has already come out. One by one my new pregnant friends are having their babies and I feel left behind. It’s as if I’m on an island and they’re being rescued before me. I make Suzanne feel Baby Schlag’s little heels, which are sharply protruding from the side of my stomach. (I think about how my dad has predicted the baby will have huge feet like both of us and realize that this might be very true). I give Suzanne some soup.

Hobbes shows up and starts meowing for wet food. The act of bending over to get her bowl seems too daunting for me so I wait for Josh to come home and do it. The same goes for a lot of stuff on the floor–too much work to retrieve so it sits there whether it’s a piece of mail or an insert from a magazine. The baby’s room is slowly shaping up but appears hollow and empty. We’re preparing for a life long guest. I’m not sure how this is all going to go down…